Poles, punch, police and pop songs - sounds like a good hen to me!

As I write this, on Sunday evening, I'm feeling a little worse for wear following the general malarky and shenanigans from my Australian hen day yesterday! A tremendous effort was put in by all 'tacky bridesmaids' and my "mother of the bride" did a grand job of looking after me and fixing my static hair (you'll know why when you see the pics). There had been great hilarity at work in the week leading up to the hen, at times I've been shut in the kitchen while various outfits have been tried on at lunchtime. They had all tried to keep the activities a secret and they were doing so well until finally, Tracey, the receptionist at work, let the cat out of the bag - "Do you know what outfit you're wearing to the races?" which was suddenly followed by a look of horror. Ah ha! One activity down, one more to find out. Best to pack for all eventualities so rainjacket, umbrella, hat, sunblock, t-shirt,shorts, leggings, water etc were all stuffed in a bag, ready for Liza to come and pick me up at 9am

First stop, Dusties footie ground to admire all bridesmaids outfits and get on the bus. I was ordered to put on a rather 70's angelic Jesus like wedding dress with the biggest, widest sleeves ever, then had a veil with ridiculously tacky balloons attached, hence the static hair. Bouquet was provided and a set of pink furry handcuffs that came in very handy later on to keep me from tripping over my train! Name tags were handed out, and those names were to be used all day to address everyone else - should you use their real names, then there were consequences! I was SHEILA (of course!) and my bridesmaids included Joyce, Audrey, Noleen, Doris, Flo, Pearl, Thelma, Fanny, Mabel.....the list goes on but you get the picture!

On the bus with a cup of punch in hand and of course a willy straw (is this setting the scene for the day ahead?) we are off to Frankston, about an hour from Warragul. During the bus journey and 3 cups of punch later, I get handed a shot glass and instructed to down whatever is in there if I get a question wrong for the Mr and Mrs quiz - uh oh! Liza/Thelma tells me the first one is easy - "what is Bob's favourite food and drink?" Me: "Cheese and red wine! Liza: "Who are you marrying?! It's beer and curry!" Oh dear. Maybe this isn't going to be easy at all.....In the end I don't do too badly, I think I got 6/10 so the wedding can still go ahead. Phew.

We arrive in Frankston at Pole Divas! Pole dancing here we come. The glass of 'champagne' came in handy for most of us, who were swinging quite happily around our pole but sadly, looking quite stiff compare to the instructor who seemed to be able to move her bum quite freely! She wasn't shy put it that way!! Absolutely hilarious, with our sexy walking, mounts and twists, but I'm feeling quite sore today as expected! Natalie Bright, as always, was a show stopper, doing the routines in her bra and pants. Yes she was sober but being her usual extroverted self which just added to the entertainment, for us and the instructor!

Back on the bus and heading for the races, dresses back on and punch back in hand. We set up camp and cooked ourselves a BBQ for lunch before heading off for a quick bet on the horses. I only put $5 on for the whole day and didn't win anything! Next up, silly games including burst the balloon with a sexual position, pin the willy on the hunky man etc etc all good fun. Then we headed down the front to see some horse action and set up camp next to a stag party - oh dear. Not only did they request a lap dance from the hen, the police men then came over to check they weren't doing anything too illegal to our hen party oops. All good natured fun, if very very embarrassing. I'm afraid to say that my 1 minute of lap dancing was more like me walking round the chair 10 zillion times, stopping to give him a shoulder massage before shaking my bum (a la pole dancing) and running away! Not particularly sexy but I got away with it. Never again!

Got my picture taken with Santa, Natalie tried to win a prize by gatecrashing the final round of Fashions on the Field (she didn't get very far) and I got asked to have my picture taken with a few birthday girls. Yes, my dress was that bad that people wanted to record it on film!

All in all, a fabulous day, topped off with a good session of Singstar at Ruth and Jess's house before heading homewards with Liza and Nicky where we all gave Bob a rather drunken dubious version of our pole dancing routine in the kitchen - not sure if he enjoyed it but he was certainly entertained! Much fun.

10 days until we fly home!! xxxxx

Some mock wedding photos!

Poshing it up with George

Having booked a table approximately 5 months ago and saved up as many $2 coins as possible, it was finally time for us to head to George Calombardis' restaurant The Press Club on Saturday night, hurrah! George is the little Greek chubby chef renowned originally for hosting Ready Steady Cook in Australia but has since moved on to present Masterchef Australia. It would have been quite exciting to have our dinner cooked by George but really, the possibilities of that happening were pretty much zero! Never mind. Bob and I, along with the girls I work with (Nat and Renee) and Nat's husband Dave, arrived at the Press Club a bit on the early side and so decided that a glass of fizz was required. We were ushered into the bar on the right of the restaurant until our table was ready by the Maitre'D who was a fellow Glasgwegian, from Drumchapel no less. Fizz gone, we sat down and awaited instructions.

Our plan was to all have the 8 course degustation menu along with the wine to compliment each dish (hence the saving!!!). I've never done it before. We didn't get an insight into the menu at all, we were just brought dishes and wines and told about them at the table. It was absolutely amazing food, just in a class of it's own. We started with some bread, olives and black volcanic salt which I must admit was pretty tasty. Then a pre-starter (!) which was almost like a dessert - beetroot puree, sponge with feta and hazelnuts - then onto an ocean trout starter with sake, snapper with a dry rose wine, then subsequent pork, lamb and chicken dishes (the wasabi and avocado puree was fab and the popcorn with the poached egg over the chicken was yum-eee). Due to the amount of alcohol you are plied with, I'm afraid I don't have a great recollection of the desserts - I know one was a palette cleanser then the next had some coconut and pineapple but that's about it! We all loved it and were blown away by the food and the service but jings, I'd need to save for another 6 months before I could even contemplate going back!! Much fun.

The following day, I was up early to meet Liza at the Eureka Skytower on Southbank. We were both heading to a coaching conference at the State Netball Centre with the Australian Diamonds coach Lisa Alexander and Australian Diamonds captain, Sharelle McMahon. Exciting stuff! Liza, the fitness freak that she is, did the 1600 stair climb in 13 mins before meeting me at 830am. She is mad. She asked me if I wanted to join her but I declined and got myself a nice coffee and a muffin while I was waiting on her coming back down! The coaching conference was really interesting and we both got some good ideas for the Dusties teams we'll be coaching next year. The introductory chat from Bill Sweetman (a sports psychologist over a range of sports) was fascinating and actually quite motivating. He is working with Lisa Alexander to help coach the Australians back to their No. 1 spot in the world. It will be interesting to see if they achieve it! Anyway, glad we went, hopefully the Dusties can do better next season.....

Lawn bowls ticking over nicely - 2 wins and 1 loss, not bad for starters!

And finally......Bob is leading by 5 shots going into the 3rd and final round of the club championships - he tees off last in a group of 4 with his nemesis Nathan Doyle - who'll be the last one standing?! Bob we hope! Not only does he hold the course record at the moment, to be club champion would make his day. We will let you know the result!

Love to you all, Mo and Bob xxxx

Winners are Grinners - Part II!

I finally had a run in with a huntsman spider. Eurgh. We were out on the deck of Bob's pal Matt's house which has a corrugated iron roof to it. I was sat facing out towards the garden, and Bob and another couple of guys were facing me. They both looked up at the same time to where this horrid spider had crawled out of the woodwork - one of them laughed at the size of it, bub Bob just pulled my arm and told me to "come over here for a minute". I made the mistake of looking at it before it was brought down with a broom and tried to make a bid for freedom. And so, in a terribly grown up fashion, I cried in front of a group of adults at a barbeque. Brilliant! I was looking up at the iron roof every 30 secs for the rest of the evening after that! I was thinking my spider phobia was going quite well over the past 18 months but now I'm back in a permanent state of paranoia, especially since my mate Liza told me she woke up with one crawling up her leg in bed. Well isn't that just bloomin' marvellous.

On a different note - only Australia could organise a bank holiday for a 3 minute horse race! However, we were not complaining. To get a random Tuesday off was pretty nice and resulted in a party chez Bob and Mo. As usual, there was a random collection of people in our cosy little living room from 1pm - 9pm, all competing to win the 'Melbourne Cup' which was a horrid little 1970's retro type dessert bowl with lots of dollar coins within. It was a close call in the end, with Red Cadeaux narrowly missing out, literally by a nose hair, to Dunedin and therefore Natalie Bright narrowly missed out by a nose hair to Chelsea, who celebrated by drinking her pear cider from the cup. Quite funny. Her boyfriend Gary won a couple of races after the Melbourne Cup race and so we have a nice little photo of the winning pair with their cups. A few of the netball girls popped round with some pink fizz, a couple of girls had their fascinators on (along with Bob) and we enjoyed our CUPcakes along with some BBQ food throughout the day. Our neighbours even popped their heads in for a while. Needless to say, we were feeling a little worse for wear on the Wednesday and work wasn't looking too appealing! Bob was particularly pleased with his outfit and felt he deserved to win Fashions on the Field, particularly when the commentator on the telly said that skirts, lots of colour and accessories were the in-thing. Tartan kilt and feathery fascinator - done!

Since our TV win at the golf club a couple of weeks ago, we have had two further triumphs. The golf club have normal, mega and monster raffles which alternate from week to week. The monster raffle is the biggest, and this was the one we went to on Friday night. The golf club was packed, thousands of tickets sold and the first ticket picked out got to select from the monster prizes. Number 4566......was ours!! Hilarous. Couldn't quite figure out what to do with a 52" TV now that we had our 32", nor could we decide what to do with a fridge freezer or tumble dryer. We would have loved the dishwasher but simply do not have anywhere to put it. So we opted for the $1000 travel voucher and will put it towards our Great Barrier Reef trip. What a good start to the weekend! Maybe we should stay away from the raffle for the next couple of weeks, don't want to get too complacent......

The other triumph was Bob on the golf course. Yesterday, he had the first round of the club championships, which take place over three consecutive Saturdays, ending on the 19th November. With 167 contenders and 40 contenders in A grade, Bob managed to win the first round (which was also the monthly medal award) with a grand total of 69 (net 64). Yet another winning tankard to add to the collection......my runners up pile isn't looking too hot next to the winning trophies....argh! He played brilliantly though, just needs to find some consistency for the next two rounds and he has it in the bag! The prize, along with the tankard, was $50 for the local bait and tackle shop. That'll be well used!!!! hmmmmm. I joined him and his golfing pals for a pot of beer in the outdoor patio, absolutely glorious day, clear blue sky, 30C, shorts and flip flops on. Spring has arrived! Then back home for a quick turn around before.........

Our dinner with our surrogate mums and dads! David and Anna, Peter and Penny, Sue and Alan and Sandy and Keiran, otherwise known as the Dingoes! Peter and Penny had very kindly invited everyone round to their house (which backs onto the 16th green) for a BBQ last night which turned into a surprise mock wedding! Absolutely hilarious. Not only were Bob and I sat at the top of the table with regular top ups of fizz, we were dressed up in a ridiculously huge clown like bowtie for Bob and a tiara and massive veil (which doubled up nicely as a mozzie net!) for me before the chief bridesmaid, David (with his Dingo tie nicely in place) said a few words about how they had a soft spot for us and how they had taken us under the wings. They presented us with a lovely wedding gift too (a set of plates from a local Australian potter) which was entirely unexpected but very kind of them. Penny used to be a potter and had started a PhD in Ceramics of Oceania hence the interest in pottery and her decision to get us something by a local artist. It was a nice touch and very thoughtful. The groom then said a few words before tucking into a marvellous barbeque of chicken, lamb, turkey and all the trimmings. We even had favours of little sherbert sweeties and a version of a wedding cake, with Peter the photographer snapping away. That wasn't all.....after dinner, we were summoned to the 16th green for a surprise. With it being the 5th November and all, they decided to put on a mini-fireworks display in the bunker, but warned us that, with it being illegal to buy or set off fireworks in Australia, we had to be prepared to make a run for it should it be required! Absolutely hilarious to be on the golf course in the dark, knowing that these 60-somethings were up to some mischief. We didn't ask where they got the fireworks from, and they didn't tell us! Better not to know. No sign of any coppers you'll be glad to know! A marvellous night. And now we know that Peter and Penny have an outdoor pool, we might be making a few more visits in the next couple of months!

Had my wedding dress fitting on Thursday and managed to get myself to North Fitzroy without getting lost. It didn't take long and didn't require any nips and tucks so she showed me how to bustle it up. Once the train was all nicely folded up, she pulled out an enormous piece of netting and told me this wasn't required before taking a pair of scissors to it! Eek. She told me to go for a coffee, she'd stitch it up in a half an hour and viola, a piece of netting that didn't look as if it had been attacked with some shears. Good stuff. All good to go! Now I just have to make sure I don't lose or put on any weight at all! Uh oh. Not quite ready to substitute wine and chocolate for lettuce leaves just yet

And so for the final story.....if you've been following the blog, you'll know that we looked after Hamish the dog a good few months ago, when he turned up on our doorstep and refused to leave. Well, the same thing has happened but with a different dog! The cutest little puppy appeared this evening when we drove into our driveway, whimpering away, and after doing a little tour around the houses to see if he belonged to any of our neighbours, he is now curled up on a cushion in our living room, snoozing away. We managed to make some sort of lead from an adjustable bra strap and an old belt, and of course had to take a trip to Woolies for some puppy food yet again. We're becoming a stray dog home! As we did before, we'll have him overnight before Bob takes him into work and phones the council. Maybe this one is a regular escapee like the last...

And so that is our news! We have had a lucky few weeks. Wonderful to get Lindsey and Francesco's Save the Date card for their wedding on 14th July and their wedding plans sound brilliant, especially the girly pool party the night before the wedding! Our plans are coming together, now only 7 weeks to go, 5 weeks and 3 days of work to survive!

Other than that, we are good! Take care y'all, love Mo and Bob xx

Winners are grinners

Oktoberfest!

4 days back in Australia and we were in the local community hall in Warragul drinking steins of beer and eating sauerkraut and sausages - Oktoberfest was being celebrated in big style and all the Germans had come out of the woodwork - there were at least 15 of them and they were dressed up for the occasion! Thigh slapping galore, live music and a best dressed competition with some physical challenges made for an interesting afternoon. Shame it was a Sunday, we were suffering from slightly sore heads Monday morning. Oops. Next year we'll need to get the sewing machine out and whip up a lederhosen costume for Bob....

First week back at work and we were fresh as daisies - I've never been so nice to my patients! Needless to say, the novelty of being back at work has now worn off although Bob seems to have managed to squeeze in a day of golf for which is work paid him for, and a Project Manager course, as well as a work lunch at Brandy Creek Winery. Taking it easy it would seem!

The past couple of weeks have been warmer and sunny, definitely hotting up for summertime, yeeha. One particularly hot day led us to wander to the local tapas bar in 28C heat at 6pm for a wee glass of wine and some nibbles - this is the life! We have both been out in the sunshine trying to get back into the swing of exercising...it's been hard after a couple of weeks of eating and drinking in Scotland but we're getting there slowly. Bob is currently sat with an ice pack on his hamstring that he pulled in the gym - not quite the spring chicken? No netball for me at the moment, although we are trying to put together a November cup, almost like a test series between Warragul Dusties and Drouin Hawks. Hopefully it will take off.

Instead, I am concentrating on my new sport - LAWN BOWLS! Awesome. Bob and I, along with Joe and Lauren, have created the team The Foreigners and we had our first win on Tuesday night. It was a close call, with a few bowls going haywire, before we found our stride towards the end. The less said about our intellectually disabled opponents the better...ahem.......

Bob is still playing lots of golf and has a big competition on Sunday, the Gippsland championships! The worst he could be is the 27th best golfer in the region - not bad! Sadly, this comes the day after his friend Matt's Melbourne Cup BBQ and therefore I'm sure one or two beers will be consumed. Watch this space for the final result, especially as he tees off at 7.38am

I attended the Dusties annual netball trip last Saturday - "Dusties Olympics" - whereby there were six teams (tennis, golf, athletics, lawn bowls, wrestling/boxing and gymnastics) who all competed against each other in various sports day challenges. The day started at 9am and the first beer was thrust upon me at approximately 9.17am. Yuk. I'm afraid to say I nursed it until 11am where I was feeling better able to drink it! First game up, 'create-a-team-mascot". This involved 6 teams lined up, in front of 6 buckets, each with different teddy bear parts. (we'll not mentioned how they were torn apart but Ruth and Jess must be evil!) I'll attach a photo of our rather swell looking mascot. The mascot was to stay with a team member for the whole day, points deducted for the mascot going missing. Needless to say, our team was deducted points although I wasn't happy as it was blatantly daylight robbery. Other games included balloon bursting, Goon of Fortune involving a whirlygig, waterballoon boat races, tug of war, mud wrestling and pyramid building. The beer bong was used frequently as a forfeit and there were buckets for the casualties on the bus. One team had to say ringadingding before speaking (thank goodness not us) and there were Winners are Grinners t-shirts passed around for various winners on the day. We were doing so well with our mascot before Stacey left her in a toilet near some random field. Ah well. All in all, a fun day out. Think I'll give my liver a rest for a wee while though!

And the best news ever - Bob and I went to the golf club Friday night mega raffle, with Gary and Chelsea, Joe and Lauren last Friday night and we won........a 32" plasma TV! Brilliant! This is the best raffle ever. We picked it up the following day and it's looking miles better than our ancient box of a telly. We are lucky, lucky, lucky!

Open mic night at Middels round the corner tomorrow evening, then BBQ on Saturday. We have the day off next Tuesday for the Melbourne Cup so we are having a cup party at ours. Think we'll maybe organise a wee sweepstake between us all.

That's all our news for now - will update the blog soon, enjoy the photos! Love Mo and Bob x

Scotland! Part II

So.....we are now into our second week in bonnie Scotlandshire and Bob has now arrived in Kilbarchan to start the granny visiting that is Tuesday! First stop - Inverkip Hotel to meet with Dad and Gran F, enjoy some stories about missing earrings, tired and weary spiders and to eat a good portion of fish and chips. Gran was looking well and was full of chat. Next stop, Gran and Papa Macadam in Skelmorlie. Arriving unannounced was not a good idea with the first half hour a little bit hectic but once everything had calmed down, we had a wee cup of tea and a chinwag. Gran was especially keen to see my hen photo album and to hear about the hen night itself. Aunt Anne dropped in to contribute to such hen stories. Everyone was well, or as well as can be. Final stop, Granny Barr in Kilmarnock. A full on spread of sandwiches, cakes and Tunnocks Teacakes - oh how I missed them. Lots of wedding chat and general catching up. Grannies........done!

Wednesday was the day for wedding ring shopping! Off to Glasgow we toddled, to try on some rings in the Argyll Arcade. First stop, Mappin & Webb. We were greeted by a footman at the door and offered coffee before being ushered to a desk in the corner. Immediately knew we were never going to afford the rings in here but thought we'd go along with it anyway! Had a nice chat to the girl about her brother's 15 course chinese wedding dinner before making a sharp exit and heading to a more affordable jewellers! Lewis Grant it was. Perfect service, lovely rings chosen, off to the Rogano to celebrate. I'd never been to the Rogano before and so we were pleased to see it wasn't too pricey and the food was delicious. Wee glass of wine too just to top it off. It was superb, even if we did have to listen to wee Jeannie at the next table telling lots of terribly uninteresting stories! Got to love Glaswegian ladies who lunch....

Thursday we had to take another trip through to Edinburgh to hand in our documents to the marriage registrar - all done and dusted, the wedding is now official! Eek. Back to Glasgow to meet up with my aunt and uncle for a quick coffee - enjoyed hearing what my cousins were up to and happy to share our Australian and wedding stories with them. We headed to Ashton Lane later that evening, to catch up with Andy (running late as usual!) and Denise in the Ashoka, oh yes for curry, our favourite. We could've stayed out for a few cocktails etc but to be honest, by 9.30pm Bob and I were falling asleep at the table - poor effort! Plenty of stories shared and we asked Denise to do a reading at the wedding, which she accepted, hurrah.

Friday, we were off to Belfast for the Huggan/Hunter wedding, where Bob was best man. I think he was expecting to be in charge of the rings and present a funny speech but he was kept rather busy during the day!! I saw him for the odd sausage on a stick and a sip of fizz before he was whisked away for another task. His particular favourite was holding the umbrella above the photographer for the whole 2.5 hour long photo shoot......he was also particularly good at acting as compere for the day, as well as being the shout for the ceilidh. A grand job was done, well done Bob. Must admit, it was nice on the Friday before the wedding to have a few hours to myself while we was performing best man duties with Dave. Bliss! Even if I did get caught in the rain walking back from Belfast city centre to the apartments. Oops, didn't plan that very well.

Friday night, we were very kindly taken out for dinner by Dave's parents, Ian and Liz, along with Dave, his brother Paul and his new wife Caroline. Lovely company, a few laughs, and a small fit of road rage by a slightly stressed out groom (breathe, Dave, breathe). Off to the pub for a few drinks and to meet some family and friends before heading back to the apartments to meet up with Grant and Anna, and Brian and Polly for a nightcap.

Saturday - The Wedding Day - let the fun begin! Bob headed off to Dave's room for 11.45am and I caught the bus with the other 4 peeps to get us to the church for 1pm. A lovely service at which I nearly cried when Vicky walked down the aisle (this does not bode well for our wedding....oh dear) and Bob was looking rather dashing in his best man kilted atire. Despite the rain, we managed to make it to the bus without looking like drowned rats (I seem to remember getting squished by big girls Grant and Brian so they wouldn't get their hair wet) - we unfortunately had a lengthy wait on the bus so we sent Grant off to the bakery for a pie - fab!

The venue for the reception was beautiful - all fairly lights and stable barns, bricked walls and a wedding cake tree! Very fairytale like. A few glasses of fizz and a sausage on a stick, and we were all set for the dinner. Speeches were first, with the father of the bride starting, followed by the father of the groom, Dave the groom and finishing with Bob, the best man. What a brilliant job he did - he started off a little nervously with the cards but once he had gotten his first laugh, there was no stopping him! Star of the show. The food was great, the company was good and the ceilidh dancing was a success with the Irish folks. Our rendition of "You're the one that I want" just showcased our talents, and the lovely slow dance by Bob and Brian was delightful. As usual, can't beat a good old knees up to Runrig Loch Lomond, followed by the Belle of Belfast City for Vicky. Much fun had by all - next wedding will be ours! Eek!

And that pretty much sums up our visit home. It was lovely to see everyone and we can't wait until we are back in 10 weeks time. I think my locum physio who was taking my place at the clinic while I was away, was a little bit of a character and so I was greeted by a big bunch of balloons and a welcome home banner on my first day back at work. Not sure whether they really missed me or whether the locum physio was just really really bad.......either way, I'll milk it for a few days! See you all soon xxxxx

"

Scotland! Part I

I have never felt so excited as I was finishing up work at 4pm on Friday afternoon. 3 weeks off work and a visit back home to see all our friends and family. A-mazing. No news from Qantas about strikes, no news about any volcanic eruptions and with it being Autumn in the UK, no sign of snow (although we couldn't rule that out completely). Slightly disappointed to be leaving glorious sunshine and 24C on the Sunday to make our way to the airport but also nice to know we'll be returning to it in a few weeks time. Appointments had been made with various wedding suppliers etc and we knew we had a busy 4 days ahead following our landing in Edinburgh. The flight on the spaceship A380 was brilliant - no noise, no turbulence and even managed to get a good 5 hours sleep, bonus! I don't think Bob and I spoke to each other for the entire flight as we were distracted by the entertainment system, CD library, flight camera, TV docs and of course being fed every 2 hours! A 23 hour flight can sound tedious but when setting off on your holidays it is absolute bliss!

We were kindly met at the airport by Russell and Margaret, and the rain. Ah, to be back home. Back to the manse for some lunch, feeling pleased to be back but slightly strange at the same time. It had only been 16 months but it felt longer, I guess because we've managed to cram in so much during that period of time. Edinburgh and Cramond hadn't changed at all, which was nice to see. We decided to try and stay awake for as long as possible, and therefore opted for a trip to the Kilt shop before heading for gym and a swim at Westwoods. It was fab to get some blood circulating but my calves took a while to recover - they were like old granny puffy legs for a good 2 days! Managed to survive until 9pm before crashing out.

Tuesday was florist day then onto North Berwick for some food tasting. The florists had a tough time with us, purely because we didn't have a colour scheme, nor did we know what we wanted! Being indecisive was not very productive, however we managed to get a rought idea and we had tasks to do before coming back! A quick visit to see Brian and grab some lunch before heading to North Berwick. The sun was shining and, as we were early, we thought we'd go for a wee walk before heading to the Humble Pie catering school and meeting with Lisa who took us through some samples of our wedding buffet. I believe it was meant to be a "tasting" but Bob and I seemed to munch our way through everything... it would be a shame to waste it, would it not? Again, we were given our homework to do in terms of vegetarians, glasses required, table decor etc. Nae probs.

Wednesday was my mum's birthday - she took the day off work and came through to Edinburgh with Dad to meet with our event coordinators at the Kirk Hall before heading into town for lunch at Hamiltons. "Glass of wine mum?"....."Oh yes, well it would be cheaper to get a bottle".....Right oh! It is a special occasion after all. Good grub, nice wine before heading to Mellis round the corner for some cheese tasting. Yum. Wedding cheese cake sorted and some samples to take home too. Trip into the Sheraton hotel to check out the hotel rooms before heading for some wine tasting. Back to the manse for more wine tasting, cheese tasting, wedding discussion and a good meal! Phew. Bedtime.

Thursday morning we headed into Gorgie to see our photographer and check out his albums etc. He knows Cramond well and had lots of ideas for photos already. We were feeling quite pleased with his suggestions, be it rain, hail or shine and so paid our deposit and moved onto the next port of call - Bob to meet Brian for some golf, me to meet with my hairdresser for a hair trial. Slight moment of panic when the receptionist tells me he needs to change my hair appointment at 9.45am on the 28th December. "We're shut that day so can we make it the 29th?" Eh, NO! Oh dear. A good minute was spent with us all looking rather awkwardly at each other, before Robert, my hairdresser, tells me he'll come in just for that appointment and the receptionist then pipes up that he will come in to open up and he'll bring a bottle of fizz with him. Result! Whole salon to ourselves. Fab. On to meet Kate for a glass of wine and a catch up on Rose Street before heading to a make up trial. We got slightly lost but made it with 5 minutes to spare. Make up on, looked in the mirror and as expected I thought I looked like a clown close up. From a distance, it looked okay but Kate reassured me it looked lovely. Hmmm. I'd have to get used to it! Went back to Kate's to have dinner with Carls and Katie - Bob popped his head in for 5 minutes and gave the make up a thumbs up. Brill. Another thing ticked off the list!

Friday - bridesmaid dress shopping! Mum, Helen and I got the train to Glasgow and had a rather lovely breakfast in Cranachan in Princes Square. Love Princes Square : ) Met up with Heather for our personal shopper appointment in Coast and enjoyed a wee glass of fizz during the girls' catwalk session! 3 dresses tried on, and we had 'the one'. Not quite dark purple or chocolate, but navy was the next best colour! Pleased with the selection and also bought myself a wee faux fur cover up for my dress. No tears or tantrums and all done by 1130am! Lunch?

The rest of the day was spent shopping before meeting up with Aunt Anne and Alison in Jamie Oliver's restaurant off George Square. More fizz? Yes please! Absolutely delicious food, great company and the presentation of the hen night outfit - a onesy!!! Will need to try it on before the main event but not sure I have much say in the matter! Hilarious. Can't wait for the blue eyeshadow and pink tights to go on. 80's night, here we come!

Being the sensible people we are, we headed home for 10pm, to prepare ourselves for the Hen day/night! Back to Helen's for a trying on of the outfit and general malarky dancing to the 80's tunes, classics like Salt n Pepa. Brill. I think at this point, Bob had had a round of golf at the Royal Burgess followed by lunch, followed by a meeting up with all his pals at the Grand Cruz for "a few quiet drinks" which resulted in a few Jaegerbombs being consumed (soon to be called Jaeger Bobs) and everyone stumbling home at 3am a little worse for wear (including my brother in law heading for Leith rather than Haymarket.....taxi!)

Saturday - Hen and Stag!
Having heard from Brian what the costumes were for Bob to dress up in, I was sure he would love them both. England shirt, red plus fours, pink socks and a pink visor for golf during the day, followed by a Papa Smurf outfit for the evening! My onesy didn't look so bad after all.......Being the bride to be and all, I obviously don't have all the gossip from the stag and so you will have to rely on Bob to fill you in on that front. I do believe he was made to "Smurf up" to do smurfograms to any hen party or birthday party they found, and I have also seen photos of Papa Smurf hiding in the bushes, drinking out of buckets and planking in the street. 'nuff said really!

As for the hen, all local friends came to my sister's house for breakfast on Saturday morning, which was a lovely idea and allowed me to catch up properly with them before the mayhem began. Met little Emily, Alison's daughter, for the first time, absolutely adorable. She's starting early with her first hen party!

Off to.......Scot Kart! Yeeha! Not that I'm competitive at all, or have competitive friends, but it was absolutely brilliant and hilarous. We had 15 of us, and 3 boys. No surprise that the 3 boys zoomed off before we even had a chance to notice that the green light was on, but we had a great laugh, even if I did overtake the mother in law at one point (sorry Margaret). The grand final saw Denise, Eilidh, Sineag, Helen, Heather, myself and the 3 boys compete against each other. I couldn't help but be smug when my sister crashed at the first corner, only to crash out myself a few laps in and for Helen to zoom past me with a big smile on her face. Argh! Due to us all being big girls, we asked the chap for a second medal ceremony (clearly the 3 boys won 1st, 2nd and 3rd) so we had our own 1st = Eilidh, 2nd = Denise and 3rd = Heather. Well done girls! And well done to Lindsey Barr for having the fastest lap!

Pizza and juice to refuel before a couple of games of Lazerquest! At this point, I had a veil to wear which unfortunately glowed in the ultraviolet light making me a very obvious target - rubbish! And not very good for my team mates either. Hilarious though - I seemed to be doing a lot of screaming, along with my mum, and I seem to remember Polly shooting me at every available opportunity, so much so that she actually stood in front of me so that i could get her back. Thanks Polly! My aunt was scary, as was the mother in law, both of which were very accurate in their shooting stats and also very devious with their hiding places. I really hadn't gotten the hang of it at all! Lindsey was by far the best with 10000 points, with everyone else on 3000. More practice required!

Lots of sweaty people at the end of it, but good fun was had by all. We all went our separate ways at this point - some to the hotel and some back home. Swim and sauna, with some handstands, mushroom floats and roly polys thrown in for good measure with Mum, Helen, Alison M, Lindsey and Louise before getting ready for our night out on the town.

Onesy on, blue and pink eyeshadow on, loads of blusher on, bangles on, pink tights, shoes and earrings on, veil on, ready to go! Looking absolutely ridiculous but enjoying it all at the same time. Best outfits go to Heather for her white stilettos and shoulder pad jacket, Carlene for the hairdo, headband and ripped leggings, Sineag for the crimped hair and lace glove, and Denise for actually wearing her own dress and still looking 80's - is that a good thing?! Good effort from mum, aunt anne and margaret too. Special mention to Louise for dressing up 80's and still looking like she was out for a normal night out!! A wee glass of wine before disembarking for the Butterfly and the Pig - met up with a very pregnant but well looking Gillian, and Rachael for a glass of fizz before heading upstairs to the private tea room for dinner. Heather, Louisa and of course Helen had all done an amazing job of decorating the room with glo-sticks, glitter, confetti and hen party signs, as well as plugging in the 80's playlist and providing me with my very own Bride to Be sash and glow wand. I loved it! It was a perfect venue with all my favourite people. I was a very happy Hen!

Dinner was enjoyed and wine was flowing, ending in the presentation of my male stripper - a tiny little fella who had to be stuck in some water for him to....grow. He looked a bit dead for the first 3 minutes, at which point we decided to read the instructions "takes about 2 hours for anything to happen". Oh well, we shall just decant him into a glass and take him on our night out. (He subsequently got decanted into a plastic cup for the dancing and then got forgotten about - hopefully not swallowed, as that would have made for an interesting poo) My mum had bought some cards to give out to the boys in the night club, ranging from #1 Complete Minger to #10 Well Fit. Lindsey had #7 cute ass which she proceeded to smack a boy's bottom with on the dancefloor, so much so that he wouldn't leave us alone! Fun fun. The loveliest thing was when I opened up the photo album all the girls had contributed to, and my sister had made. There were a few shockers in there, along with some lovely ones. The girls all wrote a little comment at the back too. So nice. Finally, a Q&A session with some embarrassing moments, including the question "have I ever seen a future in-law naked?" um......not sure....margaret, have I seen you naked?!....oops no......OH OH! at which point the memory came flooding back. much embarrassment whenI revealed the time I walked in on Mr Barr in the toilet, only for Margaret to reveal she'd done the same to her father in law! Much hilarity. And so we ventured downstairs to dance the night away, have some jaeger bombs, bop a few people on the head with my glow wand, magic people through the crowds with my glow wand, and perform some lunges at 2am, infact I think we lunged across Sauchiehall St back to the hotel. Quality. An £11 poke of chips in the room for Lindsey and I before big ZZZZZ's. A perfect night.

I'm sure my sister was delighted when I woke up at 730am, reporting that I needed a shower as I had a massive clump of green glitter on my head and that I was wide awake anyway, to which she replied "Still sleepytime". Yeah, whatever! Time to get up. Breakfast was not filled with much chat and Heather was looking decidedly hungover, managing to eat one slice of melon and not at all enjoying me slopping the ladel of porridge around. Oh dear. A quick swim for Lou, Polly and I before heading home to spend the remainder of the day on the sofa with Helen, Steven, Louisa and Meg Dog for approximately 8 hours of rubbish TV and a can of coke (or red ambulance as Louisa called it). Curry! Then a battle to stay awake until 9pm where we all thought this was a respectable time to go to bed, without being soft.

Up early to see Louisa off on her trip up north with a dodgy car, and to stage whisper to Meg dog to get back down the stairs, only to be rescued by Helen who was finding the whole thing rather entertaining. Off to Alison Renfrew's house for tea and scones and to play with Amy,Ewan and Emily, and catch up with Heather and Alison Sharp. Lovely to see my best mates again.

Braehead in the afternoon, lunch with Helen and Steph then a dinner date with Gillian and Rachael at Amaretto in Bridge of Weir. Fab.

Think that's enough news for now - tune in for Part II!! xxx